‘Is It Too Late To Ask Who Gerry Mander Is?’ KBJ Whispers To Clarence Thomas
BabylonBee.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — Shortly before the United States Supreme Court issued its ruling on Louisiana's proposed redrawing of its...
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Hungover Pete Hegseth Terrified To Wake Up To Redcoats On White House Lawn
BabylonBee.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth awoke Tuesday morning with a brutal hangover, only to be seized...
Trump Presents King Charles With Autographed Copy Of Declaration Of Independence
BabylonBee.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump welcomed King Charles III and Queen Camilla to the White House on Monday...
Nation On Edge After Soldier Places $50K Polymarket Bet That Trump Will Nuke Iran
BabylonBee.com U.S. — The United States is reportedly on edge following a leaked report that indicated an American soldier placed...
Too Far? Gerrymandered Virginia Congressional Map Includes California
BabylonBee.com RICHMOND, VA — The political landscape in the Commonwealth was set to change drastically moving forward, as the new...
Ayatollah Agrees To Surrender But Only If JD Vance Wears This Cute Sailor Outfit
BabylonBee.com ISLAMABAD — In a stunning breakthrough in the ongoing peace negotiations, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei agreed to a full surrender...
Crippled Man Lowered Into Oval Office In Search Of Trump’s Healing
BabylonBee.com .🐝 WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a scene reminiscent of ancient Capernaum, a crippled man was lowered through a hole...
SCOTUS Rules Death Penalty Is OK For People Who Post ‘BREAKING’ And A Siren Emoji Before Every Tweet
BabylonBee.com U.S. — In a landmark decision sure to send shockwaves across the social media influencing sphere, the Supreme Court...
‘HI, BARACK!’ Yells Biden As Car Passes House With A Lawn Jockey
BabylonBee.com WILMINGTON, DE — Secret Service agents reportedly looked at each other and shook their heads on Wednesday, as former...
With Swalwell Resigning, Just 534 Perverts Left In Congress
BabylonBee.com WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the sudden resignation of California Representative Eric Swalwell over sexual assault charges, analysts speculated that...
