Michelob Ultra Truck Crashes in Connecticut

Authorities are investigating after a semi-truck hauling a load of Michelob Ultra left the roadway, jackknifed, and spilled part of its cargo across a rural highway, creating a cleanup job that was anything but “ultra” efficient.

Emergency crews responded to the crash shortly after it occurred, finding the tractor-trailer heavily damaged and dozens of cases of beer scattered along the shoulder. Hundreds of bottles were smashed, sending a shallow stream of golden beer flowing across the pavement while workers began the long process of clearing the wreckage.

Officials say the driver suffered only minor injuries, and there has been no indication that alcohol played any role in causing the crash. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop social media from doing what social media does best.

Within minutes, commenters were asking the important questions.

“Did anyone bother giving the truck driver a breathalyzer?”

Another joked, “I’m not saying he was sampling the cargo… but quality control is an important job.”

Still another suggested the official accident report should simply read:

“One bottle short of a full load.”

Photos from the scene quickly spread online, showing broken bottles and beer pooling on the roadway. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt, although local cleanup crews probably wished the trailer had been hauling pillows instead of thousands of pounds of bottled beverages.

One nearby resident reportedly summed up the entire situation with remarkable optimism:

“Well… at least the road’s disinfected now.”

Authorities have not released the cause of the crash, and there is no evidence the driver had consumed any of the beer he was transporting. But that hasn’t prevented the internet from imagining a few fictional possibilities.

After all, if you’re hauling a trailer full of beer, you’re probably going to hear at least one person ask:

“So… were you conducting taste tests before or after the accident?”

For the record, investigators haven’t suggested anything of the sort.

The only thing that appears to have been intoxicated was the highway itself.