‘SNL’ Roasts Trump Admin’s Heavily-Redacted Epstein Dump In Christmas-y Cold Open

“Saturday Night Live” ridiculed the White House’s heavily-redacted dump of Jeffrey Epstein-related documents during this week’s very festive cold open. Saturday Night Live

Kelby Vera

“Saturday Night Live” torched the White House’s aggressively-edited release of Jeffrey Epstein-related files in a ruthless riff on the president’s holiday address to the nation during this weekend’s cold open.

The parody of President Donald Trump, played by “SNL’s” resident POTUS impersonator James Austin Johnson, was in a particularly jolly mood as he boasted about getting his name grafted onto Washington D.C.’s Kennedy Center building.

“Why are you putting your name on so many buildings? We had to take it off so many files,” he asked. “We had so many Trumps in there, we had to put ’em somewhere.”

Addressing the outrageously censored document dump head on, Johnson’s Trump then bragged, “We released all the files, and I come out looking, frankly, very good.”

“We had to redact a few sensitive things, but you’ll get the gist here,” he said, showing off an excerpt which consisted of a blacked-out a wall of text, save for the words “Trump… didn’t… do… nothing… bad.”

“See it’s all there, can you believe it?”

The sketch also savagely mocked to another absurd announcement from the the actual White House address: the cross-country “Patriot Games” set to take place during the United States’ 250th birthday next summer.

“I almost forgot I’ve been inventing my own ‘Hunger Games,’” the show’s presidential impersonator smirked.

“That’s right, the White House will be hosting the Patriot Games for high school athletes to compete. Because I thought, What’s the best way to distract from the Epstein files? I know invite a bunch of teenagers to my house?”

“I’ll take ‘Things a pedophile might do’ for a $1000, Alex.”