AITA for asking my friend to not bring her dogs to friendsgiving?
I’m 26F, and my friends and I do a Friendsgiving every year. This year I hosted for the first time, and I planned everything—from decorations and food to seating arrangements. One of my friends, Kara (24F), has two dogs she basically takes everywhere. They’re not service or emotional support animals; she just likes having them around. Usually I’m fine with her bringing them for short visits, but last year at another friend’s house, one of her dogs grabbed the dressing off the table and ate it while everyone was watching the game. It wasn’t funny to me, so this year I decided to make my house a pet-free zone for the event.
In the group chat, I reminded everyone of the start time and added, “Also, just a heads up, no pets this time, please.” I didn’t single anyone out—it was a general statement.
Kara immediately messaged me to ask if that included her dogs. I said yes and explained my reasons: I didn’t want dog hair in the food, I didn’t want to manage pets while hosting, and I wanted to avoid a repeat of last year. There were also going to be several small kids, so I wanted to be extra careful.
She got upset, saying her dogs have anxiety and need to be with her at all times. She insisted they’re “her family” and “better behaved than most adults,” and accused me of being controlling and purposely excluding her. She also said that if her dogs weren’t allowed, she wouldn’t come. I told her I’d be sad if she didn’t attend but that the rule stood because I’m the host.
She then said she wouldn’t bring any food if her dogs weren’t welcome. I found this frustrating, but I wished she’d been more understanding and ended up scrambling to get dessert and potato salad from a grocery store to fill the gap.
Afterward, another friend said I could’ve “handled it more sensitively” and maybe just let her bring the dogs because “it’s the holidays and it’s not a big deal.” But honestly, it feels like a big deal to me—because it’s my house and I’m hosting.
I feel like I set a reasonable boundary, and it’s frustrating to have it challenged, especially after taking everyone else’s enjoyment and safety into account.
Am I the Asshole?
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