Teen’s change of surname aggravates her grandparents
DEAR ABBY:
Our 14-year-old granddaughter, “Amy,” participates in 4-H and recently decided to use her stepfather’s last name at the fair. This is the second year she’s done it, and it hurts both my husband and me deeply. Our son — Amy’s father — is very involved in her life, but he refuses to speak up about this. Her mother, stepfather, and his family all seem thrilled about her choice.
We’ve tried discussing it with Amy, but she told us she intends to keep using her stepdad’s last name and doesn’t care how we feel. We love her very much, but this feels like a rejection of our family. We told her we wouldn’t continue supporting her at the 4-H fair if she insists on doing this. We’re also considering stopping birthday and Christmas gifts because it feels like she’s turning her back on us.
We were raised to value and respect our family name, and this feels like a slap in the face. What should we do?
— PROUD OF OUR NAME