My daughter says she doesn’t want to care for us in old age
I am 67, and my husband is 68. For the past six years, we’ve been caring for aging parents. My father-in-law, who had Alzheimer’s, passed away a few years ago, and his illness was very challenging for all of us. My mother-in-law is now 87 and does not want to move into a nursing home. She still lives on her own, but my sister-in-law and I take turns cooking and delivering her meals, while my husband handles the yard work, maintenance, and repairs she can no longer manage. Even though we are retired, our lives revolve around her needs.
Recently, I had a conversation with my daughter, my only child. She has three sets of parents—us, my ex and his wife, and her husband’s parents. She told me she loves us, but she doesn’t want to be responsible for caring for any of us. When she retires, she wants to travel and enjoy her retirement without worrying about anyone’s care. Having been through this ourselves, I understand her perspective—nobody really wants this responsibility. Still, I feel a little hurt.
All that we have—money, cars, our house—is set up to go to her when we’re gone. Now, it seems we may need it to cover assisted living or other care. Is it normal these days for adult children to refuse to help aging parents?
— Dumped by My Daughter in Delaware
About Post Author
