He’s Wonderful—But His Church Feels Like a Cult

Dear Abby,

I need some honest advice about a man I’ve been seeing for several months. He’s kind, respectful, intelligent, and I feel a real emotional and physical connection with him. He treats me better than anyone I’ve dated before. The issue is – he’s a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), and I’m Catholic.

At first, I didn’t think much about the religious difference. But the more I’ve gotten to know him and some of the people in his church, the more uncomfortable I’ve started to feel. I’ve learned about some of the LDS beliefs – things like the idea that men can reach “exaltation” and become gods of their own worlds, the emphasis on tithing, and the expectation that families must be “sealed” in the temple to be together in the afterlife. It all feels a bit… cult-like to me.

When I’ve spent time around his church friends and family, I can’t shake the sense that there’s a strong pressure to conform, marry young, and have lots of children raised strictly in the faith. I’ve even heard subtle hints about how I could “convert someday,” which makes me feel uneasy.

I really like this man – I could even see myself falling in love with him -but I’m starting to worry that our beliefs are too different. I don’t think I could ever see myself joining his church, and as a Catholic, I’d never want to raise children in a faith I view as controlling or manipulative.

So my question is: should I keep seeing him and hope that love can overcome these religious differences? Or is this a fundamental incompatibility that will only get harder if the relationship gets serious?

— Torn Between Love and Faith