Happy marriage disrupted by differing views on hoarding

R. Eric Thomas

Dear Eric: I am a happily married gay man. My husband and I are retired, and we both love to spend our time shopping at thrift stores and antique shops. We each believe the other has a hoarding problem. I believe that we both do, but to varying degrees.

Our home has become so full that we only have paths to go from one room to another. Stacks of boxes and bags and collections surround the paths. Despite this, I attempt to clean and vacuum this house, mostly on my own.

My husband’s solution is to box and stack things in the basement. This is how he believes he is helping around the house. Everything is precariously piled to the ceiling with sparse, dangerous paths that lead through each room.

I want to sift through this mess, choosing to keep only the very best. Then, have a sale. I just don’t know where or how to start. Unfortunately, all that my husband will part with has been damaged in the hoard.

I love this man. I hate how we live. If we had a fire, there would be no clear exit. This is due to the number of boxes that cover the distance to all of the windows as well as the pathways down halls to any of the doors.

I believe that we both could benefit from counseling. My husband does not see it being such a problem. If he can’t find something he needs, he just goes out and buys another, and another and another. This is the biggest problem in our marriage and one I don’t see a way out of (literally).

– Crowded House

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askingeric/s-3559682