I don’t want to reward my friend’s dog for barking

by Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: A friend has a small dog. Though well loved and generally well behaved, he barks when anyone arrives, not stopping until someone gives him a treat. The hostess keeps treats at the door and hands them to guests upon arrival.

I gather many find this adorable. I don’t. The barking hurts my ears. Moreover, because I worked to train my own troubled rescue dog, I know rewards reinforce behavior: In this case, barking at newcomers.

I would never correct my friend, but may I politely demur and say, “Why no, thank you,” when the hostess insists I reward her dog for barking at me? She seems so disappointed in me when I refuse. What should I do?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/10/26/miss-manners-reward-friend-dog-barking/