AITA for refusing to share or donate to my good friend’s fundraiser?
We’re all mid-30s here.
My very close friends (a married couple) have a young child who has some serious health issues. Insurance covers most of the things he needs, although my friends go above and beyond to make sure he has anything and everything that could possibly give him a better shot at living a long healthy life, so they probably spend more money on him than you’d spend on a typical healthy child.
They make 6 figures and live in a large house in a good neighborhood. They recently took out a loan to put an edition on their house to add a new playroom for him (nothing to do with his conditions, just to give him bonus space to hang out). Shortly after they took out this loan, their insurance denied their request for something they felt their son really needed. It was $8,000 so they got a new credit card (with an introductory 0% APR) and bought it for him.
Several days later, my friend announced that they’d made a crowdfunding page to help pay off the credit card faster. On the page itself, she just explained his conditions and why he needs this thing, but no details about their financial situation. To me, she said they need help because they wouldn’t have taken on the project with their house if they’d known insurance was going to deny them this, they shouldn’t have to pay for this themselves, and this will really slow down their plan to pay off their debt. She asked me to share their fundraiser to my friends (I have a lot more followers then her). I politely declined, and she was furious. She accused me of judging them for needing help, and of not loving their son.
I do love their son very much, but I suppose I am judging her for thinking she needs help. I view crowdfunding as something for people who are desperate, who really need charity. My friends are people who live and eat well, have clothes to wear and a roof over their head, who don’t think twice about ordering a new toy or game or kitchen gadget from Amazon, and who have willingly taken on tens of thousands of dollars in debt for something they definitely don’t need. I know the extra $8,000 was not something they’d planned for, but it’s also not going to break them. They make double what I make and probably triple what half my social media friends make. I don’t want to share their fundraiser to a bunch of people who don’t really know them, and who might think that my friends are in a desperate situation. I think it’s a better use of money to donate to people who really are in bad shape, whose electric is about to be shut off, who don’t know where their next meal is going to come from, that kind of thing.
My friends are not speaking to me at the moment, so I’m asking AITA?
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