I want to have a good time but Bob the creep is at the bar
DEAR ABBY: I have a close-knit group of women friends I’ve known for decades. We meet monthly for dinner and drinks, with the location typically chosen by whoever is celebrating a birthday that month. Our choices usually rotate among three restaurants.
Occasionally, I decline to attend when the chosen restaurant is frequented by a man I’ll call “Bob.” He has never been legally charged, but I was one of his victims about 20 years ago, shortly after my first husband died.
Bob broke into my home and took items from my late husband’s office. I was there when he entered my bedroom while I was dressing. When I screamed at him, he claimed he had knocked and was just “making sure I was all right.”
I have no connection to Bob now, but some of my friends do. They know about his past behavior, as does the owner of the bar he frequents nightly. Bob is a sociable presence and often buys drinks, so everyone else seems comfortable around him. I, however, experience PTSD at the thought of being at a dinner in that establishment, so I usually skip those nights.
A few friends have suggested I just “get over it,” but I cannot. How can I handle this situation?
— VICTIM IN WISCONSIN
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