I Will Go to Great Lengths to Keep My Son From Wearing This Horrible Halloween Costume

Dear Care and Feeding,

I can’t believe I’m actually writing to an advice column about this, but my husband and I are in a ridiculous standoff over our 16-year-old son’s Halloween costume.

Our son, “Eric,” has been invited to a Halloween party and insists on going dressed as—wait for it—a giant penis. I told him absolutely not, over my dead body. My husband, on the other hand, thinks it’s hilarious and “harmless fun.”

I think it’s wildly inappropriate, especially for a teenager, and I’m ready to block the driveway if that’s what it takes to stop him from leaving the house like that. My husband insists I’m overreacting. I think he’s being clueless and immature.

Please tell me I’m not crazy here. I’m right… right?

—Trying to Stop a (Literal) Dick Move

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