Asking Eric: I’m not my parents’ ‘favorite’ child
Dear Eric,
A reader shares their painful experience of parental favoritism that has followed them into adulthood. Growing up in a family of five children, they recall their parents consistently favoring one sibling with time, attention, and financial support. Later, when the youngest child was born, the parents’ excitement and focus shifted toward that sibling as well.
Now, with their mother deceased and their father at age 80, the pattern continues. Each week, the father takes the favored brother and youngest sister out for meals and shopping, paying for everything. He then visits the letter-writer’s home to recount the outings in detail, often uninvited. Recently, he traveled on vacation with them and insisted on showing photos and sharing the experience, further deepening the hurt.
The reader says they have no memory of being hugged, praised, or told they were loved, and they feel invisible compared to their siblings. They have already limited contact, choosing not to visit or call. Yet their father persists, showing up at the door, knocking until someone answers, and continuing to share stories even when unwelcome.
The writer describes this behavior as cruel and asks for advice on how to handle the situation tactfully, while still preserving their peace of mind.
– Feeling Not Worthy
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