I make up lame excuses for not wanting to eat dinners cooked in friend’s grimy kitchen

DEAR ABBY: My friend invites me for dinner often, and I keep coming up with vague excuses about why I cannot come.

The reason for my reluctance is her poor kitchen hygiene.

The fridge always has old food and spillage, and her kitchen counters and sink are littered with dirty dishes and leftovers. She doesn’t wash her hands before cooking, either.

I have helped her clean her kitchen many times while visiting, thinking she perhaps just needed guidance, but her old habits stick. It feels awkward and inappropriate to tell her the reason for my continuous cancellations. How would you proceed?

— FRIEND IN STICKY SITUATION

https://www.oregonlive.com/advice/2025/03/dear-abby-i-make-up-lame-excuses-for-not-wanting-to-eat-dinners-cooked-in-friends-grimy-kitchen.html