My Roommate Crept Into My Bed in the Middle of the Night. And That’s Not The Worst of It.

I share a two-bedroom apartment with “Mary.” Mary is 30 and just got divorced. We usually get along, but her new boyfriend is driving me nuts. He is younger and has two kids, ages 5 and 8. Our apartment complex has a pool, so he brings them over all the time.

He refuses to parent them! They are on their iPads 24/7, have no manners, and think nothing of screaming their heads off if they don’t get their way. I had to get a lock for my room because these kids have zero boundaries. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, though, since Mary seemed happy.

The other night, there was a bad storm, so the boyfriend and his kids stayed over. Mary even borrowed my sleeping bag so the kids could camp out in the living room. In the middle of the night, the kids went into her room to sleep with their dad. Rather than him sending the kids back to the sleeping bag, Mary got kicked out. She had to work early and didn’t want to sleep on our lumpy sofa, so she thought to wake me up and ask if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no way in hell, closed the door, and locked it.

Mary and I fought the next day. I told she had a serious boyfriend problem and needed to look at what she was getting out of this relationship because come on—she got kicked out of her own bed and seemed fine with that! Mary made the excuse that the kids were afraid of the storm. I said the answer was for their dad to deal with it in the living room! He knew that Mary had to get up early for work.

I told Mary I was tired of the kids coming over all the time and that unless her boyfriend wants to pay part of the rent for everything they use up (our grocery bills have doubled), they need to go back to hanging out at his place. Mary told me that this wasn’t fair. I pointed out that this was in the roommate agreement we made.

I like Mary and am locked into the lease for the next year, but this is nuts. How do I get through to her? She is wonderful and deserves better than this.

—Quite Contrary

https://slate.com/advice/2025/01/roommate-advice-boyfriends-kids-kick-out.html