Help! My Ex Was a Violent Man. Now He’s Dating an Old Enemy of Mine. Do I Warn Her?
by Delia Cai
Dear Prudence,
My ex was evil, violent, and controlling. In the year and a half that we were together, he went from love bombing to gaslighting, denigrating, and finally punching and hitting me. I finally got smart when he punched me in the head, kicked me in the guts, and threatened to kill me. I moved and got a restraining order, a panic button, and a gun. Despite having moved on, I am still obsessed with him, at turns I’m fearful he will hurt me again and am overcome by rage, which is why I know he is now going out with “Kelsey.”
She and her friends bullied me viciously in high school, which I believe helps explain some of the insecurities that allowed him to exploit me. I have to confess that I find the thought of him hurting her quite satisfying but I also know the hell I went through and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I feel like I have to warn her about him but have no idea of how to go about it (we’re not in contact—why would she listen to me anyway?). I also get angry every time I think about her. I know I need to go to therapy but I have neither the time nor the money. Should I help this woman? How?
—Rage in My Heart
https://slate.com/advice/2024/12/ex-violent-former-bully-dating-advice.html
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