My Family Has Way Too Much to Say About My Plans for My Penis

BY DAN KOIS

My fiancée and I are about to move to a red state. (There isn’t really any choice, between my work and the high cost of living here.) However, she is terrified about the regressive lack of women’s rights there, combined with the fact that she has had bad reactions to the new birth control her doctor has her on. Neither of us wants kids. So I decided to stop dicking around and get scheduled for a vasectomy.

Both my mother and sister are staunch liberals, so I didn’t think anything of telling them … but they freaked out. My mother started going on about how I was “too young” and would regret it, that she wanted to be a grandma, and children were the greatest joy in life. My sister started blaming my fiancée and saying she was being selfish for asking this of me. I told them both to shut it. I am a grown adult and making a choice over my reproductive freedom, and aren’t they always going on and on about that? Even if we do change our minds on kids (and we won’t), we could adopt, foster, or use donated sperm. My genetic legacy is worth diddly-squat compared to actually being an involved parent—and we all know that firsthand because our “dad” left us without looking back when I was only a baby.

Since that conversation, things have been tense and awkward. My fiancée has picked up on this, but I haven’t told her why. She would be very hurt to hear the stuff my mother and sister said. My operation is coming up, as is our move. I don’t want to spend the last few months I’ll be living in the same state as my family fighting with them. How do I get through to them?

—Stop Sniping About the Snip

https://slate.com/advice/2024/07/parenting-advice-vasectomy-decision-child-free.html