Two days later I tested positive for COVID and texted everyone I had been in close contact with at the wedding just to be considerate in case they may want to get tested too. My brother and sister-in-law told me they had no idea I was feeling so poorly and told me to get well soon. I was feeling back to normal a few days later and all was well.
The problem is that ever since then, anytime the wedding comes up in conversation (which is pretty much every time we get together it seems), instead of talking about the day itself, my parents always look at me wistfully and comment how awful it was for me to be in the wedding when I had COVID and launch into a detailed discussion of my symptoms and behavior that day. I hate this and I can tell my sister-in-law is fed up with it too. I have tried changing the subject to other details and anecdotes from the wedding. I have tried changing the subject to non-wedding topics. They steer the conversation back to me and my symptoms and how they should have known I was sick. I have left the room, but they continue talking about me anyways, and I feel like my leaving is drawing even more attention to myself.
In a private conversation I have told my mom and dad directly to stop making every discussion about the wedding about me. It really should not be this big of a topic of conversation that overshadows the couple! It has only ruined my brother and sister-in-law’s memories of the day and embarrasses me. They will not listen to me and just launch into further discussion of how sick I was and how awful that day was for me.
Ryan and Laura just got the photos back and have shared some on social media, including a few with me in them. My mother tagged my face in each one and commented how I look so sick or so sad (I’ve scrutinized the pictures, I look perfectly fine and happy). I messaged her privately and asked her to delete the comments and she did, but admonished me for being too sensitive and not appreciating how much she and my dad love me.
In case it’s relevant, I am a childhood cancer survivor and my parents have always coddled me, especially about health stuff. I am perfectly healthy now. I am cancer free, I am not immunocompromised, I am very healthy and have a nice, normal life. Having COVID after being vaccinated did not endanger me in any way. I really hope this is not poisoning my relationship with my sister-in-law. We are friendly but not close. My brother doesn’t seem phased at all, but he has commented in the past about how I’m the “favorite” and I am trying very hard to just exist and not take up too much space in our family. My parents are making this impossible. Is there anything else I can do?
—Just Shut Up About It
https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/11/dear-prudence-covid-wedding.html
