DEAR JANE: My family always makes disgusting racist jokes so I’m REFUSING to go to Thanksgiving – my mom says I’M being disrespectful
Posted for: sideof Sour Cream
By JANE GREEN
Dear Jane,
I am absolutely dreading the upcoming holiday season – it is the worst time of year. And I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a family who actually wants me to attend dinners and gatherings. But I cannot imagine anything worse than being there.
Every time I get together with my family, I am left cringing in discomfort over the casual racism that they display. I won’t go into the disgusting detail, but every word they say is tinged with some kind of prejudice.
They make horrible jokes about people of color, and when I try and ask them to stop – at the very least out of respect for me – it only seems to spur them on more. It’s like they find enjoyment in my disgust.
After years of trying to simply ignore their behavior, I decided that this would be the year I put my foot down.
When my mom got in touch to ask about Thanksgiving plans, I simply told her that I’m not able to make it. I didn’t tell her why because I knew it would cause even more drama and I didn’t want what they always refer to as my ‘sensitivity’ to become more of an issue within my family.
But when I told my mom I couldn’t be there for the holiday, she freaked out. She started crying, telling me that we don’t know how many Thanksgivings we’ll have left as a family, and that she feels personally insulted by my behavior.
How do I make her realize that it’s our family that is driving me away and that I’m not the villain here? I hate my family for making me out to be the bad guy when they are the ones who have displayed such disgusting bigotry.
From,
Family Untied
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