My Kid Keeps Saying She “Saw What I Did to Grandma”
Each of my in-laws passed away after a period filled with many illnesses, hospitalizations, and needing continuous daily care. My spouse and I felt proud of having served them at home in their last years of need. It was a loud home with many trying days toward the end—needing to force my in-laws to exercise, take medicine, clean them, etc. as they were going through both physical and mental decline. We had home nurse aides help us in the last few months, it had become so physically exhausting.
One of my kids, who is 7 years old, seems to have witnessed some episode of this (something physical) when she must have been 5 or 6 and has on multiple occasions said that she knows what I did to grandma and that I sent her to God. She even makes some physical movement of her hand to her face to that effect. I love my daughter deeply and she has not been saying this with any sort of negative feelings but in more of a matter-of-fact way, as in “I saw what you did, you did this (some action), and now Grandma is with God.”
I am horrified at the possibility that my daughter might bring this up in school, with friends, or in any other public situation. At the same time, I don’t want to sow the seeds of gaslighting that she did not see what she claims. However, my attempts to sit down and clarify the situation have not been helpful. My spouse finds it hilarious, but we have gone through a period of estrangement. I feel there is no one I can talk to who is going to take me seriously without getting into trouble first.
—Trouble with Daughter
https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/09/kid-grandma-death-care-and-feeding-advice.html
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