Friends keep correcting my ‘unacceptable’ choice of words

by Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: I’m a politically liberal person with like-minded friends. Occasionally, in the course of a conversation, a friend advises me that my use of a word or phrase is unacceptable.

I’ve read that terms I should no longer use include previously neutral terms such as “depressing,” “battle,” “minefield,” “the poor,” “the disabled” and also “field,” as in academic fieldwork. (I’m not referring to racial or ethnic slurs, which were never neutral.)

I don’t mind if other people observe such rules, but I don’t appreciate being told that I shouldn’t have used a term that the listener found objectionable, especially when there is no one present who would have taken my remark personally.

What would be a polite response when a friend criticizes my choice of words?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/07/12/miss-manners-friends-correcting-offensive/