Are we doomed? My husband solicited a prostitute before our marriage and I can’t forgive it
By Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Two years before he met me, my husband of four years did something I feel was morally repugnant: He solicited a prostitute. When he committed this act, he was going through a dark period in his life. He was divorcing a woman who had cheated and left him for another man, raising his young son and dealing with immense feelings of insecurity.
He told me all of this while we were dating, and I thought I would eventually get over it. However, almost five years into our relationship, it still haunts me and makes me question his character. I hate that he was capable of doing something like this, regardless of what he was going through.
I have tried therapy, and we’ve tried couples therapy — nothing has helped me to move on. He says this is not the type of person he is now, but I just can’t seem to separate the man who did that awful thing and the man I fell in love with. Are some actions so awful that they stain a person for the rest of their lives? Are we doomed?
— Wrestling with it in California
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