I’m A Short Man Struggling to Find Love. What Do I Do?

Dear Dr.

I’ve finally gotten to a point where I’m ready to write in and get help.

I am a 29-year-old man with a fairly active and vibrant social life and a good career I really enjoy. I make a good living, my friends are wonderful and my life is pretty good. But there’s clearly a problem, right? Well, I can’t get a second date to save my life, and I suspect it may have something to do with my height. Standing at 5’5″, I am below the average height for men in my country.

I want to stress that this isn’t just about women online talking about wanting tall guys or commands to “swipe left” on Tinder if I’m not six feet or more. I’ve talked to women, when we were talking about dating struggles and starting to flirt when they specifically mentioned how they prefer ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ men or jokingly commented that I’d be ‘perfect’ if I were a bit taller. Just last month, I was on a date with a woman I was genuinely interested in, and she commented that she was surprised she liked me, because she usually only dates guys who are taller than her. I know she didn’t intended to be hurtful, but comments like that make me feel inadequate and less desirable.

This feeling of insecurity about my height is something that I struggle with, despite knowing that I have other qualities to offer. I am well-educated, have a good sense of humor, am genuinely interested in others, I connect with people easily, am told people love spending time with me and I make a conscious effort to be kind and respectful. Yet, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that my height is a hindrance in the dating scene.

I would appreciate your perspective on this. Am I just too short for women? How can I navigate the dating world with this apparent handicap? Any tips or advice on how to deal with being short, or even just how to stop worrying about it, would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Dwarfs Need Love Too