I’m a 42-Year-Old Woman, and I Have a Secret I Can Barely Bring Myself to Type
I am a 42-year-old woman, and I’m a virgin who has never dated. I can’t even believe I wrote that because I am deeply ashamed of that fact. I won’t go into all the reasons, but I will say that I have had severe anxiety since I was a little kid. I am in treatment and on medication, but it has a very strong hold on me. Amazingly, it’s actually better than it was, but my problem is that I’ve let my anxiety run my life for so long, that I have never dated. And I had hookups and that kind of thing, but I always refused to have sex because I never wanted to fuck someone I didn’t know. I wasn’t waiting for marriage. Just waiting for someone who wasn’t a stranger. Please know that I understand confidence is sexy and all that.
However, my biggest fear is that men will learn I’m a 42-year-old virgin and run for the hills. I’m afraid they’ll see that as a huge red flag, so that creates this cycle where I’m afraid to date, but the longer I wait, the longer I’m still a virgin. I know that I can’t control how other people think, but I truly fear that maybe I’m really not good enough for anyone. I get the feeling the response to this is going to be “Keep going to therapy.” And I get that. I know that I have emotional issues, but my real question is, how do I address the fact that I have never dated or had sex if I do try to start dating? I feel like any answer I give as to why is going to sound pathetic, and they’re going to go to the bathroom and never come back.
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