I Caught My Daughter “Using” Her Disability to Get Out of Activities at Camp

 My daughter was born with a condition that caused the bones in one of her legs to not form properly. It was amputated above the knee when she was 2, but with her prosthetic, she can do most of the things her peers can do. She’s now 9 years old and very active and outdoorsy. Her disability has always been part of our daily lives, and we sometimes forget she has a disability. It’s not really a limitation for her. She knows this as well and will often indignantly correct people like her grandmother when they assume she can’t do something due to her disability.

This summer she went to several summer camps; one of them was a camp specifically for kids with limb differences, and the others were more general day camps. She’s very outgoing and she doesn’t usually have a difficult time in social situations. It came as a shock when we got calls from the most recent camp asking if certain activities were OK, including kayaking and hiking, which she’s done a million times. After talking to our daughter, we learned that she’d been using her disability as a way to get out of doing things all summer, and this was the only camp that bothered to follow up.

As her father, I want to understand why she felt the need to fib rather than be truthful. I believe that it is important for our daughter to learn that she doesn’t need to hide behind her disability and that it’s OK to just say no if she doesn’t want to do something. My wife says I’m taking this too seriously—am I?

No Excuses

https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/08/best-advice-columns-august-26.html