Help! I Just Discovered Something Really Horrible About My Daughter’s New Boyfriend.

Dear Prudence,

My 27-year-old daughter has been with a guy (30 years old) for about a year that I initially had a lot of reservations about. She told me that he had a hard childhood, past drug problems, and a daughter he does not see (according to him it’s because the mother won’t let him). He recently told me that he had been in an elite military group. He said he didn’t like to talk about it but wanted me to know about it. At first, I thought that it explained a lot about him, he probably had PTSD.

Being curious and a good internet sleuth, I tried to find evidence of his military career. The result is that there is no record of his having served. Taking it further, I found the mother of his child and she gave me her side of the story. He is an abuser and she currently has a restraining order against him for domestic violence. My question is how do I present my findings to my daughter? I am afraid for her as they are currently living together. I know she will initially not believe me and I will be the “bad guy.” Also, how can she get away from him safely?

—Worried Mom

https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/08/daughter-new-boyfriend-snooping-dear-prudence-advice.html