Is it normal to go to a shower and sign up for what gift to give?
Posted for: Jackie
Dear Amy: My family maintains fairly simple tastes.
My stepbrother got engaged to “Sharon.” Her family had a similar background to ours, but business success means they now live very extravagantly, and Sharon never lets us forget it.
My mother and I were invited to her wedding shower. The invitation stated: “Do not bring gifts.”
Unless I’ve been asleep my whole life, I thought one major point of a shower was the gifts. That’s the “shower” part, right?
We tried to get a clarification from Sharon, but she acted very mysterious.
At the shower venue, my mother and I walked into a nearly silent room of people, in the center of which was a large table heaped with very expensive items: China, crystal, Sterling silver, a $400 pen, a $4,500 tennis bracelet (this one had a “sign-up sheet” for multiple contributors) and a $2,000 cappuccino machine.
Sharon gave us each a pad of stickers and a pen.
She explained that we were to “browse” the table and put our name on a sticker to “affix to whatever gift we wished to give.”
It was the most uncomfortable event I’ve ever been part of. My mom and I took one tour around the room and quietly left.
We heard later that the shower was a disaster and that Sharon and her mother were furious with the guests.
Is this some new trend?
My sister thinks we should throw Sharon a traditional shower for “our side” of the family, but it’s obviously not something she would be satisfied with!
What are your thoughts on this?
– Gobsmacked
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