A family ponders inviting racist cousins to a wedding

By AMY DICKINSON

Dear Amy: I’m from a small family (I have one brother), and while growing up, my two cousins (my aunt’s sons) were like brothers to me — we always spent vacations, holidays, and family celebrations together.

Fast-forward 30 years and we aren’t as close as we used to be — for various reasons.

I relocated to the West Coast and my family is in the Midwest.

I see my parents and my brother often, but I haven’t seen my cousins since the pandemic began because we have differing opinions on vaccinations and social-distancing (I believe in both; they don’t).

Our daughter is engaged, deeply in love, and very happy in an interracial relationship.

My spouse and I are quite fond of our future son-in-law and his family.

My dilemma is this: Both of my cousins have expressed racist views and used racial slurs in the past.

I do not trust that they will be supportive of our daughter’s marriage. I’m not comfortable with them attending her wedding.

Should I call them directly and address the issues outright? Should I quietly not invite them? Honestly, I love my cousins, but I don’t like them or their world views, and I don’t know what to do.

— Stressed in the West