A nosy bookkeeper at work is telling my neighbors how much I make

Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: A casual friend and neighbor started doing the books at the company where I work. This means she knows my income, which she didn’t before. We live in a small town and are on several committees together outside of work, including a board for a local charity and the PTO for our kids’ school.

Now that she knows how much I make, she’s on my case to be “more generous in my donations” to these groups and is spreading misinformation about my financial situation. For example, when the PTO fundraiser fell flat, she told the group I could make up the difference out of my pocket!

The thing is, she doesn’t have the full picture. I donate to organizations she doesn’t know about and help to support my oldest nephew, who has a disability and struggles to get by on his own. For now, I’m doing as much as I feel comfortable with, and I don’t want to have to divulge all the details of my financial life to get her off my back.

Asking her to stop harassing me has led to more (public) statements about my “stinginess.” Now other people in town are starting to ask me to donate to their causes, having gotten the impression I’m hiding deep pockets and have no obligations. How do I get this to stop? I worry about getting the wrong reputation in this community. — IN A PICKLE IN THE SOUTH

https://www.mlive.com/news/2023/07/dear-abby-unethical-bookkeeper-has-crossed-the-line.html