Help! My Wife’s Family Are a Bunch of Screaming Banshees, and I Can’t Take It Anymore.
Dear Prudence,
My wife’s family love arguing and become incredibly excited and voluble on every topic., happily yelling over each other at 140 decibels while waving their arms in the air. This is obviously cultural but I come from a very different background, where raised voices were always quickly followed by flying fists. I’ve tried explaining but asking these people to tone it down is like King Canute trying to hold back the waves. As a result, I have been keeping my distance from these otherwise quite lovely people but it is becoming increasingly obvious to everybody that I am avoiding them and they are understandably hurt. I just cannot find a way to arrive at a middle ground—I don’t want to be screamed at and fear that I may do or say something because I feel threatened, and they cannot change the habits and social dynamics of a lifetime simply to cater to me. Are we just doomed to be forever incompatible? Am I justified in simply avoiding them and sending my wife with “my love”?