AITA for not wearing trousers around the house when my roommate has the guy she’s dating over?
When I’m (f24) around the house, I tend to wear a baggy t-shirt with underwear underneath. If the weather’s colder, I’ll wear PJ bottoms too, but particularly in the summer months, I’m most comfortable in just a t-shirt. I live with 2 other girls but I’ve never given much thought to how I dress around them because in my opinion, when you’re in your own home, comfort is more important than looking presentable or modest.
Sometimes, one of my roommates will have a guy she’s seeing over. Again, I don’t pay much attention to what I’m wearing when he’s around. If I need to use the kitchen while they are in there, I don’t put on trousers to do so. I just go about my business like I normally would (whilst obviously saying hello and being polite, etc).
Most of the time, my roommate would tell me “just to let you know, [insert guy’s name] is coming over soon”. I thought she’d tell me this because she was being a considerate roommate. So I’d just say OK, thanks for letting me know.
Today, she admitted to me that the reason why she notifies me whenever the guy is coming over is to give me a chance to put on trousers beforehand. At first, I thought she was just poking fun at my clothing habits, so I laughed it off. Then she starts saying “don’t you feel uncomfortable?”. At this point, I feel a bit judged, and I tell her no, I don’t feel uncomfortable wearing what I like in my own home. Then she says something along the lines of “but it’s kind of common decency to not be half dressed when people are over”.
I was pissed but tried to stay calm. I reiterated that I will dress how I like because I pay rent here and it’s not like I’m indecently exposing myself to anyone. I then left the room to cool down.
I haven’t had another discussion with my roommate about it since. In my opinion, it is not my responsibility to make her or her guy friend feel comfortable. If I had my breasts or genitalia on display, that would be another story. Or if I was purposefully showing flesh to try to get the guy’s attention, that would be wrong. But I’m literally just existing in the way I usually do. At the same time, I understand people have different ideas about modesty and what is appropriate behaviour around house guests, particularly those of the opposite gender.
So I’m wondering if I could be considered an asshole?
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