My Son Is Sending Money to an Online “Celebrity” He Swears Is Real

Dear Abby: My son is 41 and in recovery from a long battle with drugs. He’s currently sober, which I’m grateful for, but he’s become fixated on what he insists is a romantic online relationship with a famous 23-year-old actress. He truly believes she’s confiding in him, calling him her “safe place,” and promising they’ll be together soon.

The reality is heartbreaking. He still lives with me, has no savings, and works part time at a local grocery store. Despite barely having enough for himself, he sends her money every week—usually through gift cards, prepaid cards, or other hard-to-trace methods. I’ve seen the messages. They’re full of dramatic stories about emergencies, sudden travel problems, or “management issues” that require immediate cash. He hangs on every word.

I’ve tried everything I can think of—showing him articles about scams, pointing out inconsistencies, even asking him why a wealthy celebrity would need his money—but he becomes defensive and shuts down. He says I don’t understand and that I’m trying to ruin his happiness. I’m terrified this is replacing one addiction with another.

I can’t bring myself to throw him out. He has nowhere to go and would likely end up on the street, which could undo all the progress he’s made. But watching him be manipulated like this, week after week, is draining me emotionally and financially. I feel like I’m losing my home, my peace, and my son all over again.

How can I get through to him and prove this is a scam before he loses everything? I’m desperate for help—and honestly, I need my life back.

— Exhausted and Worried Parent