My husband has Alzheimer’s, and his puttering around is driving me crazy

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 59 years. As he has grown older, he has fewer activities to keep him occupied and no longer drives because of Alzheimer’s. Lately, he has begun doing things around the house without asking my opinion, including moving items from their usual places.

Abby, as the woman of the house, this has always been my role. Now he seems to be taking over, which irritates me greatly. He washes every dirty dish even when the dishwasher is empty, and I feel the need to supervise him after catching him a couple of times washing them without soap. Am I wrong to feel this way? He no longer has a social life, and despite his doctor’s repeated suggestions, he refuses to try the senior center. What can I do?

— DOMESTIC ENGINEER IN CALIFORNIA