Victim of spousal rape is urged to seek help

DEAR ABBY: I am in the process of leaving my husband of 15 years. He has admitted that he used to have sex with me while I was sleeping and when I was passed out drunk back when I had a drinking problem. He’s aware that I was molested when I was younger and that most of it took place when I was sleeping and I would wake up to it happening. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He says he was gentle and it was OK because I’m his wife and it’s better than cheating on me. This has permanently scarred me. I don’t know how to handle it. Please help. — TRAUMATIZED IN NEW YORK