AITA for refusing to return expensive band merchandise I bought second hand when someone reached out to tell me they were stolen from her?
Last November, I bought two autographed K-pop posters from members of my favorite band. They were listed in my country’s main Facebook selling group for the fandom, and the seller authenticated them with enough proof that I was comfortable buying. I spent a couple thousand dollars on them as a gift to myself for graduating with my Master’s and landing a “big girl” job after interning all summer to secure it, which kept me from traveling like I wanted.
A few weeks after posting them on Instagram, I got a message from a girl, “Ana,” from another country. She claimed the posters were stolen from her by her ex-roommate, who sold them to me without her consent, and demanded I return them immediately as stolen property. She sent a picture of the posters with a timestamp showing early February 2025, saying her ex-roommate had stolen over $10k worth of rare merchandise from her.
Ana was really confrontational, implying I should’ve known they were stolen because she posted about it a lot on social media. But I don’t follow her country’s side of the fandom. I live on the other side of the world and don’t speak the language. From what I gathered, her ex-roommate, Maria, came to my country for graduate school and sold the posters here to people who were unlikely to have seen Ana’s posts.
I asked Ana if she was going to pay me back what I spent, but she said no, insisting she shouldn’t have to because the posters were stolen.
I told Ana I was sorry to hear about her situation, but I wouldn’t be returning the posters without being reimbursed for the full amount I paid. I offered to send her screenshots of the listing and details of the PayPal transaction, but I wasn’t going to give up the posters based on her word alone, especially without compensation.
I also mentioned that, while I sympathized, this could potentially be a scam between her and Maria to get both the posters and the money. There have been elaborate scams in the K-pop buy/sell community before.
I told Ana that if the posters were truly stolen and worth thousands, she should file a police report in her country and handle it that way.
I checked with my brother, who’s a lawyer, and he confirmed I’m in the clear to keep the posters. Since I bought them in good faith, I’m not liable, and I’ve only done something wrong if I knew they were stolen at the time of purchase. He also said if Ana takes legal action against Maria in her country, and wins, it’s very unlikely the authorities would pursue me in my country for such a (relatively) low-value case.
Since all of this happened, I’ve had to make my Instagram & TikTok private because Ana sent what I can only describe as “flying monkeys” into my comments, attacking me and calling me a thief. It’s gotten pretty stressful, and now I’m being bombarded with messages from strangers telling me I’m in the wrong. Some people are outright calling me an asshole for not returning the posters. So, AITA?
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