I took flak for not declaring my kindergartner to be a graduate
DEAR ABBY:
Our daughter is finishing kindergarten and will start first grade this fall. Neither her school nor our family is marking this milestone with a graduation or any special ceremony—just the usual advancement to the next grade.
Our church, however, celebrates graduates each year in early summer with a certificate and public recognition on “Graduation Sunday.” I think it’s a charming tradition and an important way to honor achievement within the community.
Because our daughter isn’t technically graduating, I didn’t submit her name to the church secretary, who organizes Graduation Sunday. That decision prompted a call from the secretary, asking if she could include our daughter on the list of graduates. I explained that she couldn’t, since our daughter had not graduated from anything. The secretary persisted, pointing out that other families list children who have “graduated” from preschool or kindergarten, suggesting our daughter might feel left out.
I explained that, because she is autistic and dislikes being singled out, being recognized for something her school and family hadn’t mentioned would likely confuse and embarrass her. After I stayed firm, the secretary finally relented.
The exchange left me puzzled. Why call a child who has completed kindergarten a “graduate”? Isn’t graduation supposed to follow earning a degree, diploma, or certificate?
I love the idea of celebrating the hard work of graduates and sending them off to the next challenge. But if all of our “graduates” are 4- and 5-year-olds, it seems the tradition may be missing its point. I would welcome your thoughts.
—PARENTS WHO PREFER ACCURACY
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