Hunter Biden Launches HunterRx From Back Of Van
Posted For: Hauviette
MALIBU, CA — In direct competition with President Trump’s new TrumpRx website, Hunter Biden announced the launch of HunterRx, a brand new low-price pharmacy he runs out of the back of his van.
“Drugs? I got ‘em!” Biden stated proudly. “And remember, the first one’s free!”
HunterRx was expected to undercut Trump’s pharmaceutical discount effort while also boasting a significantly larger inventory.
“Broken leg? I got a drug for that. Can’t sleep? I’ve got some top-shelf Robitussin and Dimetapp on tap for you,” Biden says in a new television commercial. “Looking for uppers? Downers? Something to open your mind? Come on down. I also have aspirin if that’s your thing. And meth. All in convenient packaging of a Ziploc bag.”
Authorities were reportedly tipped off by Biden’s own ad that he would be selling illicit drugs in addition to the typical FDA-approved brands, but he has thus far eluded capture.
“The suspect runs his pharmacy out of a van, making it impossible to track,” LAPD Sergeant Abe Helmsman said. “He could be anywhere right now, illegally selling Tylenol to a child. Or black tar heroin. Probably for really reasonable prices, though.”
At publishing time, Biden announced that HunterRx was not able to accept Blue Cross medical insurance at this time.
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