I can’t stand my dad’s cringey pet names for his new wife
DEAR ABBY:
My parents were married for 50 years. A year after Mom passed, my dad remarried a nice woman he had known for only two months.
Dad has made several missteps along the way: announcing the engagement on Facebook before telling Mom’s sister, inviting his new wife to Mom’s delayed memorial service, referring to her as his “child bride” (she’s 72, he’s 82) to the priest at my nephew’s hospice deathbed, and ignoring Mom’s wishes for her ashes. These actions felt disrespectful to Mom’s memory, and I’ve been in therapy to work through them.
My latest struggle is that Dad constantly brags about his new wife. Every time I call, he puts her on speakerphone and insists on calling her “child bride,” “beloved bride,” “blushing bride,” or some other overly affectionate nickname. He won’t just use her name—which happens to be the same as my mom’s.
The last straw was when he referred to her as his “lover.” On top of that, I once had to ship her estrogen cream overnight after she forgot it on a trip. I can’t believe I had to ship my stepmom’s sex cream!
Do I have the right to ask him to stop using these lovey-dovey nicknames and just call her by her name? They feel like a stab in the heart.
I’m happy that he’s remarried, but it feels like he’s bragging about his new marriage, and it’s making me dread calling him.
— YUCK FACTOR IN TEXAS
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