DEAR ABBY: My wife recently took a DNA test to learn more about her family history. Afterward, she chose to make her results public so potential relatives could reach out. Not long ago, she received an email from a man named “Stan” who believes they are a DNA match.
Stan explained that he was adopted and that his efforts to locate his biological parents have gone nowhere. My wife immediately thought of an older family member—still living—who, according to long-standing family stories, gave a baby up for adoption years ago. Several details Stan shared, including his birthplace, line up closely, and we’re confident this relative is his biological parent.
Our dilemma is whether we should help Stan make contact with his long-lost parent. While I sympathize with his situation, I don’t feel it’s our place to potentially shock a family member with news of a child she’s never spoken about. My wife feels differently and believes there’s no harm in helping. What’s the right thing to do?
— TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP?
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