I Caught My Son Watching Explicit Videos. Then I Sent Him Straight to Therapy.

by Dan Kois

A few months ago, I caught my 14-year-old son, “Kyle,” watching some pornographic material. I informed my ex about it so Kyle wouldn’t try anything while he’s staying with him, and I signed my son up for therapy.

What has prompted this letter is a message from the therapist. Things are going very badly, and he suggested I talk to my son. I had an awkward conversation with him, and he says that he refuses to talk to the therapist, since he knows “he’s just a spy for you anyway.” I tried to explain doctor–patient confidentiality to him, and he stormed off, saying I must think he’s stupid if I really think he’d “fall for that.”

I wasn’t lying! Doctor–patient confidentiality really is a thing! And I have no idea what to do if he’s going to view any therapist or other support I could get him as some kind of attempt by his mom to spy on him. So now I’ve got this unstable situation where I keep him off the internet, only I know he needs some internet access for things like school and keeping up with his friends, and he’s just getting more and more resentful. How do I break out of this?

—Gone Off Track

https://slate.com/advice/2025/02/family-advice-parents-kid-watching-explicit-videos.html