My Child Just Told Me They’re in an Open Relationship. I’m Disgusted.

Dear Prudence,

Recently, one of my children came out as polyamorous, telling me that they and their partner have been in an open relationship for more of their nine-year relationship than not. Frankly, I am disgusted by this and disappointed in my child and their partner, but I need to get over it because I love them both and it’s their life. But how do I move on? Am I allowed to ask to not be drawn into being involved with anyone outside their relationship with each other? I am so angry. I feel like they’ve made a mockery out of my marriage (and yes, I know it’s “not about me” but how do I get there emotionally?). Everything I’ve read in my efforts to make sense of this just makes me angrier and more confused. I don’t want to ask them any questions about what they’re doing because it feels like I’d be asking about their sex life (and yes, I also know it’s “not all about sex,” but, again, that’s what it feels like). I’m doing my best to be—to pretend to be—OK with this, but I’m afraid my anger and disappointment will show through. Please help me be a parent of 2024, not the 80s sitcom parent I’m starting to feel like.

—Open is Not for Me

https://slate.com/advice/2024/06/open-relationship-child-reaction-parenting-advice.html