Traveling Together Without Feeling Like a Burden

Dear Abby,

I’m writing because I’m in a bit of a strange situation, and I’d appreciate some outside perspective.

I am a big, beautiful woman, and I’m proud of it. I’ve spent a lot of my life learning to love the body I’m in, and I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. My husband has always been supportive of that. In fact, he tells me all the time that he loves that I’m a big girl and that he finds me beautiful exactly the way I am. I’m lucky to have someone who makes me feel attractive and valued.

The issue comes up when we travel.

Whenever we fly somewhere for vacation, I have to purchase two seats on the plane so I can be comfortable and not crowd the person next to me. I understand why the airline requires it, and honestly I prefer it because it makes the trip much less stressful. The problem is that my husband gets very frustrated about the cost. Buying an extra seat nearly doubles the price of my ticket, and he complains about it every time we plan a trip.

There’s also another complication. When we go sightseeing, I sometimes have trouble keeping up with all the walking. On longer trips or in big cities, I usually rent a mobility scooter so I can keep up with the pace and still enjoy the vacation. Without it, I end up exhausted, sore, and unable to see much of anything. The scooter makes the trip possible for me.

My husband says he understands, but I can tell the extra costs bother him. Between the extra airline seat and renting a scooter, our travel budget goes up quite a bit. Sometimes he gets irritated and says things like, “Vacations shouldn’t cost this much just for us to get around.”

That hurts my feelings, because I don’t want to feel like a burden on the trips we’re supposed to enjoy together. At the same time, these accommodations are what make travel possible for me in the first place.

How can I talk to him about this in a way that helps him understand my perspective without turning every vacation plan into an argument? I want us both to feel excited about traveling together, not stressed about the logistics.

Signed,
-Comfortable in My Own Skin