When Friendship Costs a Diamond

Dear Abby,

Several years ago, my best friend found herself in serious trouble and desperately needed money. I won’t go into the details because it wasn’t my story to tell, but it was bad enough that I knew she truly needed help. She was frightened and embarrassed, and she came to me because she didn’t know where else to turn.

Before doing anything, I went to my husband and asked if he would mind if I loaned her the money. I explained how desperate the situation was and how much it meant to me to help her. My husband immediately said no. He told me she probably wouldn’t pay it back and reminded me that he wasn’t her husband. He said the money he earns is meant to take care of his own wife and family, not someone else.

I understood his point, but I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. My friend and I ended up going to a jeweler and selling the diamond from my wedding ring. I had the stone replaced with a cubic zirconia that looks very similar. The money helped her through her crisis.

My husband has never noticed the difference and still believes the original diamond is in my ring. My friend eventually got back on her feet, and our friendship survived the ordeal. But now, every time I look at my ring, I’m reminded of the secret I’m keeping from my husband.

I feel guilty carrying this around, yet I’m also proud that I was able to help someone who truly needed it. Should I tell my husband the truth after all these years, or let sleeping dogs lie?

Signed,
A Diamond Dilemma