The Last Piece of My Past

Dear Abby,

I’m writing because I find myself struggling with something I never thought would become an issue in my marriage.

My wife and I have been happily married for many years. We have built a life together that I’m very proud of. We raised a family, supported each other through the ups and downs of life, and for the most part we’ve always worked as a team. She’s a wonderful woman and a great partner, and I truly believe we have had a strong and loving marriage.

Lately, though, like many families, we’ve been feeling the pressure of rising costs of groceries, utilities, and especially property taxes. Everything seems to be getting more expensive by the day, and it has created some financial stress.

Recently my wife suggested that I sell my hunting land and my gun collection to help ease the pressure. The problem is that those things mean far more to me than just their dollar value.

I bought that piece of hunting land when I was in my twenties. I worked every overtime shift I could get to save enough money to buy it. Back then I didn’t take vacations or spend much on myself because owning that land was a dream of mine. Over the years it became more than just property. It’s where I hunted with my dad, my brothers, and close friends. Some of my best memories in life happened on that land.

I still go there once a year during hunting season. It’s the one thing I truly look forward to all year, a few days in the woods, remembering old times and making new memories. To me, it represents decades of hard work and family history.

The same goes for my gun collection. They aren’t fancy collector pieces or something I bought recently. Most of them are hunting rifles I’ve owned for years. Each one carries memories , the hunt where I used it, the people I was with, the stories behind it.

What makes this difficult is that my wife also has valuable things of her own. She has some beautiful jewelry and stocks that were left to her by her parents. I have never once suggested she sell those, no matter how tight things got financially. They mean something to her, and I’ve always respected that.

This situation also brings up an old memory that still stings a little. When we first got married, I had a muscle car that I restored myself. I loved that car. When our first child was born, she asked me to sell it because she said it wasn’t a family car. I did it because I wanted to do the right thing for our family, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still miss it. Selling that car hurt more than I let on at the time.

I understand that as the husband I’ve always felt responsible for being the breadwinner and making sure our family is taken care of. I take that responsibility seriously and always have. But I can’t help feeling that it isn’t entirely fair that the things I care about are the first to go.

Shouldn’t sacrifice go both ways in a marriage?

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to hold on to something that has meant so much to me for so many years?

Sincerely,
Holding Onto the Last Tradition
Red Deer, Alberta