When a Perfect Marriage Meets an Uncomfortable Neighbor

Dear Abby,

My husband and I have been happily married for many years, and one of the things I value most in our relationship is the deep trust we share. We truly enjoy our life together. We love our home, and one of our favorite things to do is spend time in our garden. On warm days we work side by side planting flowers, trimming shrubs, and just enjoying our little space together.

Recently, however, a new neighbor moved in next door, and I’ve found myself struggling with feelings I didn’t expect. She is a very attractive woman, and when the weather is nice she often sunbathes in her yard, which is in clear view of ours. She tends to wear very small bikinis while she tans.

I’ve noticed that my husband seems to spend more time out in the yard lately, and it’s hard not to feel like he’s noticing her. He hasn’t done anything inappropriate, but I can’t deny that I feel jealous and a bit uncomfortable. It also bothers me that our neighbor chooses to sunbathe right where she knows a married couple can easily see her. Sometimes it feels as if she doesn’t care at all about the fact that we’re next door or how it might make me feel.

I trust my husband, and I don’t want my insecurity to damage our happy marriage. At the same time, I can’t seem to shake this uneasy feeling whenever she’s out there. Should I talk to my husband about how I feel, try to ignore it, or say something to the neighbor?

Signed,
Green-Eyed in Greenville