Trump gains liberal support by renaming ICE ‘Planned Citizenship’
Posted For:Rotorblade
In a bid to win over pro-choice progressives who have been protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has announced a tongue-in-cheek rebranding of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ICE, he said, will now be referred to as “Planned Citizenship,” and the act of deportation will be called “aborted immigration.”
“It’s really just in the phrasing,” said spokesperson Roger Federererer. “They don’t mind controversial policies if the language sounds like healthcare or personal freedom, so we adjusted the terminology. We expect the debate to feel a lot more familiar to them now.”
Some self-described liberals have already reacted to the new wording. “I used to oppose deportation and immigration enforcement,” said Franz Ferdinand. “But when you call it ‘Planned Citizenship,’ it reframes the issue. It sounds like a matter of personal and national choice.”
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez reportedly paused when she first noticed the fence around the facility, but after reading the new sign, she gave an approving thumbs-up. “Think about how harsh it would be to bring undocumented immigrants into a place where they might not be welcomed or cared for,” she said. “That’s why I support Planned Citizenship.”
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