My father refuses to dress up for my wedding day
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am getting married in a traditional church ceremony. My father, who will be giving me away, has refused to wear a tuxedo on the grounds that it is a “monkey suit,” even though all of the other men in the wedding party will be wearing one. I gave in, because I want him to be happy and comfortable. Now he says he will not wear a tie, either. My mother and I have tricked him into wearing a nice new silk jacket and haven’t mentioned anything about him wearing shoes other than sneakers … yet. I would give in again if I thought he was actually going to be in any real pain, but I can’t see how wearing a tie for an hour is painful.
The real problem is that he hates wearing formal clothes. I feel like his refusal to wear a tux or tie demonstrates a lack of respect for what is, to me, a deeply important formal ceremony. It feels like he cares more about not wearing formal clothes than he does about his daughter.
When I mentioned to my mother that I was unhappy about his decision, I was told an anecdote that implied that I cared more about clothes and appearances than about my father, who loves me, and that I should just take what I can get and let the rest go.
Am I really being that unreasonable?
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