My daughter’s bratty kids ruin family vacations for everyone

DEAR ABBY:

I have three daughters, all with children of their own. Every year, we take a family vacation. My daughter Monica’s children, ages 8 and 9, whom I love and see regularly, behave terribly during these trips. They cuss, yell at adults, and show no respect whatsoever.

We’ve addressed this behavior with Monica multiple times. She always reacts as if we are in the wrong, saying, “I’m not going to beat my kids.” At no point have we suggested corporal punishment—only that she give them a time-out or a firm scolding. If any of us say, “Stop, please don’t do that,” her children act like victims.

The behavior is so disruptive that one of my other daughters has decided she will not attend our next vacation because of it. Monica accuses us of disliking her children and being mean. She even goes to the school to argue with teachers and the principal when her children complain about not getting their way.

I don’t know why she reacts this way. Her explanations seem extreme and irrational. Do you have any recommendations for handling this?

— NOT ENABLING IN NEVADA

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