Walrus Penis Bone Stolen from Iconic Camden Cheesesteak Restaurant
A legendary piece of… décor has gone missing from a Camden cheesesteak institution, and the city is collectively asking one urgent question: Who took Donkey’s bone?
A decades-old walrus penis bone — yes, that bone — was allegedly swiped in a brazen snatch-and-run from Donkey’s Place, the iconic Camden cheesesteak joint where meat usually leaves between rolls, not under a jacket.
According to staff, the long-standing good-luck talisman was liberated by a bar patron who had reportedly been marinating himself in alcohol for several hours with two companions. At some point during the night, the group asked to see the bone — a request that, until now, had always ended responsibly.
This time, however, curiosity got the better of someone… and so did opportunity.
Surveillance footage shows the suspect exiting the premises with the walrus bone firmly in hand, proving once and for all that size does matter when it comes to theft visibility.
Owner Rob Lucas Jr. says the crime occurred during a brief moment when staff attention drifted elsewhere — a lapse that allowed the thief to seize the moment… and the member.
“We’ve got his picture,” Lucas said. “But I don’t think he’s from around town.”
Which tracks — locals know better than to mess with Camden’s most sacred shaft.
The bone had long been displayed proudly behind the bar, hanging out alongside other historic relics, including a megalodon tooth — making the display a sort of natural history museum of things you definitely shouldn’t steal.
The walrus bone wasn’t just decoration. Employees and regulars considered it a good-luck charm, a conversation starter, and frankly, the backbone of the bar’s weird personality.
A bartender took to social media to alert the public, posting footage of the suspected boner burglar.
“Let’s find the guy who stole Donkey’s… you-know-what,” she said, adding that the bar just isn’t the same without its longest-standing member.
Despite the seriousness of the situation — and the obvious violation — Lucas says he’s willing to let bygones be bygones, provided the bone is returned intact.
“We’re not trying to get anyone in trouble,” he said. “We just want the thing back. It’s been part of this place for years.”
In the meantime, Camden mourns the loss of a local legend.
A fixture that stood tall.
A relic that hung proudly.
A bone that asked for nothing… and was taken too soon.
If you or someone you know has information about the missing walrus penis bone, do the right thing.
Return the bone.
Restore the balance.
And please — keep your hands off Donkey’s junk.
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