My son thinks I took his money and hasn’t spoken to me since
DEAR ABBY: My mother died six years ago. She was a manipulative person who had alienated every family member except my adult son. Before she passed, she promised him a substantial inheritance, but that promise was not reflected in her trust.
As fiduciary of my parents’ estate, I carried out the trust exactly as written, with no exceptions. My son did receive a meaningful inheritance, just not the amount he had expected. He became angry and accused me of “stealing” his money. He then told us we would never see our grandsons again unless I paid him what his grandmother had promised.
He refuses to understand the legal responsibility of a trustee and has completely cut off contact, despite my repeated attempts to reach out. Fortunately, thanks to the generosity of our former daughter-in-law, we still have a relationship with our grandsons.
I’ve come to accept that my son has chosen to remove himself from the family, including his brother and sister. He is an adult and entitled to make that choice.
My husband and I had always planned to pass along what I inherited to all three of our children someday. What I struggle with now is guilt over the fact that we have excluded this son from any future financial distributions in our own trust because of his behavior and his attempt at blackmail.
Am I justified in doing this? I want to forgive and move on, but I can’t seem to get past his actions.
— CONFLICTED IN IDAHO
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